As dementia progresses, the person may look well and seem well to others, but they are not the same person they once were. For spouses, they are no longer the same companion. They may no longer be able to have conversations or socialize in the same way. Although the person is physically present, cognitively, emotionally and psychologically they are not the same.

It is a loss, but it is an ambiguous loss: the person is physically present, but they are no longer the same.

Giving this experience a name – ambiguous loss – helps people understand what they are feeling. It is a feeling that many caregivers share and recognizing it can help them feel validated.

Watch this compelling caregiver series: A Caregiver’s experience with BPSD: Peter’s Story